Monday, December 19, 2016

The "P" in ENFP

I have to admit that I like to think I am not a judgy person, that I'm accepting of everyone, and that I like everyone. But you know what, it's not true. I'm judgy as hell.

I realize that now.

No, really. I have enjoyed thinking of myself in one way, as the "P" in the ENFP equation of the Meyers-Briggs temperament sorter, for example. Perceptive rather than the alternative judging. But the truth is as this year has progressed I find myself more and more snarky, more and more crabby, easier to annoy. Am I just getting old? Does this happen to everyone? 
Is it a phase?

Recently my husband and I were out on the town with a large group of people and I found myself saying the snarkiest things to my husband about the people around me even though I liked them all very much. At one point I stopped talking and said to him Oh my god, I thought I was a nicer person than this. Jer, as kindly as he could, replied, Maybe not so much...

What has gotten in to me? I do find myself fighting the negativity lately, even in spite of how great things are going here with the kids, with Jer, even in spite of our warm and wonderful holiday house...

It occurs to me as I'm writing this that in addition to the questionable "P" I'm also changing from the "E" to far more of an "I". I prefer being home, avoiding people, skipping social events. I don't like this change but it's true for me nonetheless.

It can't be Old Fart Syndrome already; I'm only 53. Plus friends my same age are out painting the town and, well, having energy... I'm thinking about it. I think I'll wait a bit and watch and see if I get nice again...

What? It could happen.

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